Hey Pandas, What Lies Has TV Taught You?

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#1CARE BEARS LIED BECAUSE THEY SAID “JuSt Do ThE cArE bEaRs CoUnTdOwN aNd ThEy’Ll bE tHeRe” BUT WHEN I DID THE COUNTDOWN THEY WAS NOT THERE#2That when a woman is not interested, the man has to persist and eventually she’ll come around. No honey, it’s called harassment and stalking.#3Kids in high school look like adults.#4everything has a happy ending#5Food adverts are very misleading, there’s a lot of good behind-the-scenes videos on youtube that showcase how original products are changed with other things, for example, cereal ads don’t actually use milk, they use glue to make the cereal look more appealing, etc.#6On one hand, I’m not gullible enough to believe what TV tells me. On the other hand, I’m gullible enough to believe my dad when he says, “Look, a dog!” Then when I look, he steals one of my fries.#7That broccoli tastes horrible and is disgusting.#8That the USA cares about the stuff it says it cares about.#9That police spend more than 5 minutes on cases. I’ve had 2 cases now about property being stolen, and the only thing they did was send me an email 3 months after saying that my case was being closed and they had no leads. They didn’t even bother to look.#10The disney stuff that says “if you follow your dreams everything will come true!” So not true.#11The way kids and teens are to look. Because the companies don’t want all of the hassles of hiring actors of the correct age or writing about real life.
Ex: All teenage girls in shows are “boysboysboys” and always on their phones but it isn’t like that.#12The Pocahontas story is suuuuuper false.#13That gravity only works when you look down. I was so sad when that didn’t work. I got a broken arm from it.#14Dora is not blind. She is blind. Trust me.#15Ladies wake up with hair and make-up perfect.
No one needs to use the bathroom after sex.
Has a job that pays very little but can afford to live alone in an apartment.
All disasters happen in America.
Put glasses on a girl to make her ugly, take them off to make her the new prom queen.#16that cats and dogs are moral enimys#17That all forensic cases are intense#18You can massage your fat away as seen on teleshopping.#19Politics#20Parent know better than kids no mater what and you should trust them fully
and that being yourself is ok and people will be ok with it as well#21Its so easy to make friends#22Owls can turn their head 360 degrees. I didn’t believe this one. Only elf owls can turn their heads 180 degrees, which is a lot#23Mousetraps don’t just catch the mouse by the tail like in cartoons. I used to think you could simply release the mouse outside afterwards.#24When I’m a teen I won’t have acne#25Bad people always get their comeuppance.#26My prince will come and sweep me off my feet one day. In the meantime, I just have to follow all the rules and remain a virgin.#27that cats and dogs hate each other’s guts#28When shows depict a person shooting a lock with a pistol to open a gate or a door. In reality, you kneed a high-powered rifle or a shotgun to even make considerable damage to it.#29That all women have short, blonde, curly hair and wear skimpy dresses and have long eyebrows… Damn it, they were referring to Marilyn Monroe. I have long eyelashes too!#30The fact that Mickey Mouse is always happy and smiling in Mickey Mouse Clubhouse#31It’s easy telling your parents an embarrassing thing or a problem you have and they’ll just joke it off.#32god speaking to you from a light beam from above. FALSE#33That you can slip on a hecking banana peel! I was scared to go into the cafeteria because i thought I would slip on a banana peel!#34When the add says 30 day money back guaranteed but it doesn’t work and it had to be unopened for you to get your money back.#35that if you talk to crying strangers they talk to you (not that I tried, but…)#36That veggies taste like sh*t#37That if you tell a teacher that somebody is bullying you, the bully will literally kill you.#38I have a messed up sense of empathy now because of how often I watched vampire shows as a kid, still I have the thought process of “What if vampires exist and I could live forever though”. I could go really deep into the ethics of the situation but I wont for you peoples sake.#39That if your nice to a bully you’ll become friends and eat rainbow unicorn glltter cupcakes in fairyland together. Wrong. That never works, and it never will.#40The world has no problems#41High school is great. Spoiler alert, it’s not.#42Literally anything about martial arts, I’ve been practicing for 13 years. It took me a long time to learn that no matter how much you practice, fights are never as clean looking as they are in the movies.#43Superman. Plain out Superman because I thought I could fly and almost broke my wrist jumping out into concrete two stories high O~O#44THE TOOTH FAIRY LIED BECAUSE SHE SAID ” wHeN yOu LoSt A tOoTh, mAkE sUrE tO pUt It uNdEr YoUr PiLlOw ” AND I DID AND I WAIT 1425368989 YEARS FOR THE TOOTH FAIRY TO COME >:( BUT SHE STILL DIDN’T COME#45That the government actually cares about the little guy.#46That marriage is the solution of your crappy life and you will live happily ever after#47That a girl will marry a boy and live happily ever after. Or stay single. I grew up thinking that was how it was. Wear are all the gays and bisexuals and lesbians and pansexuals? The first time I say a gay couple on tv (and only time) was when I walked in on my sister watching her teenager tv shows. By that time I knew what gay was. I was confused when I had a crush on a girl in kindergarten (I am also a girl). I asked my mom if a girl could marry a girl. She avoided the question if I remember correctly. When I found out about queers, it was just like “They exist.”, so I was a little homophobic. Neither of my parents are homophobic really, they just don’t think it’s a child appropiate topic. My younger cousin is homophobic though, because know one really talked to her about it. How she found out was she cried and whined until my friend told her (I can’t remember how it came up, and she was much younger then). It doesn’t help that my aunt is super strict about queer people on tv (again, not really homophobic, she just doesn’t find it child appropiate). I now know I am bisexual. The only other people who know is two of my friends, one is straight and one is pan.#48racism
male dominance
female inferiority
border tension

I’m pretty sure the list could be endless#49Murders are always solved during the length of the show.

Soap operas such as Eastenders (UK) are not real because in real life each sentence spoken would be spattered with expletives.

Food adverts make the product look really appetising.#50One lie tv taught me is that people is the movie have “powers” and you dont i tried that so many times when i was little .it failed every time.#51HIGH SCHOOL IS EASY BUT I BET WHEN I GET THERES GONNA BE BAD!!!#52No one eversays goodbye on the phone!#53The first kiss#54That putting toothpaste on a pimple will make it go away (the pimples only got worse haha)#55That when a person flatlines, you get out the AED and bring them back to life. If fact, once they flatline, it is too late. Defribrilators are for fixing your heart rhythm, not restarting in when it stops all together.#56The pool will go dark blue if I pee in it#57The biggest lie that TV tells (and ever told) ist that it would be a fun thing to watch TV. In fact, it’s just a device that sucks your most valuable ressource out of you: your lifetime. Get rid and you’ll never regret!#58That in High School and Middle School:
– No one gets acne
– No one is self-conscience
– No girls wear a full sized shirt
– No girls get yelled at for wearing crop-tops
– People are shoved into lockers
– Everyone gets bullied (most of the time, if you and someone don’t like each other, you avoid each other)
– School work is easy
– You are either real smart, wear glasses, and are nerdy, or are super hot, muscular and dumb. There is no in between.#59That life is generally decent#60Butter came from Butterflys#61if you remove your glasses and ponytail, you automatically become hotter. DOES NOT WORK.#62That everyone in America lives in huge beautiful homes, with white picket fences and tree lined avenues. Like in Home Alone.
I remember my first trip to the US nearly 30 years ago and being astonished at the number of trailer parks. And on my last visit, five years ago, the staggering number of homeless.
America is actually more like Breaking Bad than Desperate Housewives.#63the only relationships are straight ones |: i didn’t know gay existed until i was 12#64That most parents of kids/babies/toddlers aren’t dying of sleep deprivation.#65That I would have a huge apartment, full of amazing furniture and decorations, with a crappy job that I never had to go to, and all my friends who had varying degrees of high paying to also crappy jobs would be over all time and eventually we would all have high paying jobs with little effort.#66Men can’t wash clothes.#67That animated characters can jump 20 feet and not get hurt at all! Always drove me nuts#68That when something bad happens to you, someone or something will come save you and magically make the bad thing go away#69That people literally leave class to see a fight also in a fight scene it’s not that dramatic like it’s a bunch of shoves and a couple punches#70Hot guys like shy girls.#71″It’s just a flesh wound.” or you can get knocked unconscious with metal pipe or baseball bat multiple times then wake up in a few seconds and perform like as an athlete at their peak.#72Aphmau Mystreet S6 taught me that even when a show seems lighthearted for the first seasons, there is ALWAYS a BIG chance one or multiple characters can die when you least expect it. The writers can adapt to one rule. NO MERCY. (If you don’t mind bad graphics but an amazing and opportunistic plot, WATCH APHMAU MYSTREET!!! [Season 4 is where things get emotional, get out your tissues!] You WILL NOT regret watching it!)#73that if you break a super expensive vase the owners of the vase will make you their errand boy to pay back the debt#74Barbie told me I could be anything… 6 y.o. Me was devastated when I found out: no, I can’t be a pirate princess adventurer artist superhero XD oof#75That Slimfast works.#76IT’S NOT REAL! HELLO!?#77That you can talk by just moving you’re mouth up and down#78That thigh gaps, eating disorders, being skinny, diet culture etc. are cute and ‘normal’. Still dealing with the repercussions of that one :(#79That extroverts exist.

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  • April 1, 2021
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