The beauty of reading is that you never know what strange word constructions your eyes might come across—it’s an exercise in expanding our imaginations. Meanwhile, the beauty of writing lies in the fact that sometimes, when you’re caught up in the flow of things, you never truly know what you’ll end up saying until you put pen to paper (or, rather, pixelated ink to word processing documents).
Any writer worth their salt knows the joy of writing something powerful, unique, and mesmerizing. However, people create new and interesting sentences all the time, whether they’re amateur writers, seasoned professionals, or hate writing altogether.
Sometimes, these new sentences appear entirely by accident. Sometimes, after someone slips the Muses a $5 bill. Don’t believe us? Well then, you’re in for a treat. Today, we’re featuring the r/BrandNewSentence subreddit, a community of nearly 1 million members, entirely dedicated to the sentence “never before written, found in the wild.” It’s a writer’s, reader’s, and language-lover’s dream subreddit.
Bored Panda reached out to Doug Murano to learn about how to write impactful sentences that jump off the page, and what mistakes new writers should avoid making. (Spoiler warning: the idea that less is more definitely still applies.) Doug is a writer, Bram Stoker Award-winning editor, and the founder of Bad Hand Books.
“A teacher of mine once told me words aren’t the basic units of meaning—sentences are. So this is an important consideration,” he told us. According to Doug, a lot of what makes sentences shine comes down to context and rhythm, not the “particular ingredients” of a sentence. “If you’re a writer, that means vary up your sentence lengths and listen to the momentum you’re creating. You can lull your reader into a groove with sentences that stretch on, describe setting, investigate a character’s state of mind or follow action. Then add a punch at the end with a shorter sentence. It works.”
When you’re done upvoting the most unusual and fresh sentences in this list, Bored Panda invites you to read through our first article about r/BrandNewStence. You can find it right over here. And if you can remember the most bizarre sentence you’ve ever written, dear Pandas, we’d love it if you shared it in the comment section.
#1 Cover Your Shoulders With Knives
Image credits: Thedepressionoftrees
Writer and editor Doug told Bored Panda that in order to get a reader’s attention, a sentence doesn’t necessarily have to be bizarre or unusual. However, it all depends on the context.
“Opening lines for stories or essays often benefit from a little twist because they’re meant to draw a reader into the world you’re creating. Then again, one of the most famous sentences in the English language is ‘Jesus wept,’ which is short, straightforward, and not bizarre, unusual, or even that descriptive. I’ll bang this drum again: if context isn’t everything, it’s most of it.”
#2 Supportive Grandma
Image credits: wittyotter_
#3 Ur Mouth Can Remember It
Image credits: Un_FaZed211
Doug told Bored Panda that many new writers cannot grasp the idea that they should be writing less and omitting some details. “New writers often believe more is more and, as a result, they’ll start doing something I call ‘tap-dancing in front of a burning building.’ Essentially, this means you’re drawing more attention to yourself as a writer than the picture you’re trying to create because you lack restraint. Let the reader fill in some of the gaps in their own minds and resist the urge to toss descriptive and figurative language in every sentence.”
Founded back in the summer of 2018, r/BrandNewSentence celebrates the idea that never before seen sentences can pop up at any time, in any place. Whatever you might think of social media, you can’t deny that it’s a goldmine of awesome content if you know where to look. And the members of r/BrandNewSentence definitely know where to look.
Naturally, the subreddit is all about uniqueness, so reposts aren’t allowed. According to the mods, in order for a sentence to qualify for being posted on the sub, it has to “never been said before,” cannot be an idiom, and has to be “humorous or confusingly worded.”
#4 That’d Be Great
Image credits: jonacuff
#5 Individually Assigned Rodent Friend
Image credits: MainSWish
#6 What If I’m That One?
Image credits: regian24
The subreddit’s moderators suggest that people check the uniqueness of a sentence by searching for it on Google (don’t forget the double quotation marks to look for exact quotes) before posting anything.
“If the results produced are many and have various apparition dates, it is most likely that the sentence is brand new. If there are many results, but all on the same day, the sentence is likely new (and therefore qualifies for this sub) but has become popular (which is OK),” they explain.
#7 A Two Pound Meat Potato
Image credits: Cleverusername531
#8 “Trick Or Treatment?”
Image credits: AbrahamYayo
#9 Beer Angel
Image credits: vcole37
Previously, Bored Panda spoke to Dr. Lisa McLendon, from the University of Kansas, about keeping our English skills sharp and our grammar game up to par. According to her, there are some pitfalls that non-native speakers tend to fall into when learning English.
“For students whose native language lacks articles (a, an, the), articles are by far the hardest category of words to master. Verb tense/aspect is also really hard—the difference between ‘I read,’ ‘I am reading,’ and ‘I do read’ is nonexistent in many other languages,” Lisa told us. However, native speakers deal with their own linguistic challenges.
#10 41,460 Tacos Is A Lot…
Image credits: regian24
#11 Stop Judging Yourself For Not Being A Hive Insect
Image credits: diveonfire
#12 I Believe It
Image credits: NSLCpunk
In her experience as an editor, as well as a teacher, Lisa noticed that native speakers have a lot of trouble with past passive participles in speech (for example. saying ‘I had went’). When it comes to writing, they find punctuation, homophones (for instance, peek vs. peak), and misplaced modifiers challenging.
“Read! Read widely and frequently. Read magazines, newspapers, novels, even cereal boxes. But be careful when scrolling through social media, which although it can give you a good idea of current slang and shorthand, is often not a great model of clarity, accuracy, or good grammar,” the professor gave advice for anyone wanting to improve.
#13 Exclusively By
Image credits: tim_locky
#14 I’m At A 70s Themed Cat Funeral
Image credits: Thedepressionoftrees
#15 The Ratio Of Dog To Boy
Image credits: Thedepressionoftrees
According to her, if we rely too much on spell-check and autocorrect, we can end up turning off our critical thinking skills. In short, we can forget how to think and write.
“Because spell-check and autocorrect are everywhere, what seems to be the biggest problem is words that are spelled correctly but aren’t the right word, like ‘form’ instead of ‘from,’ ‘it’s’ instead of ‘its,’ or ‘defiantly’ instead of ‘definitely.’”
#16 Time Pillow And Duvet Of Truth
Image credits: ManyTraining6
#17 Poor Syntax Error
Image credits: manescaped
#18 Hp P*ssyjet V5000
Image credits: Napthus
The professor also suggests having someone look over your work in order to find any mistakes that you might have left behind.
“When you’ve written something, your brain already knows what you’re thinking and what you meant to say, even if you didn’t actually say it. So when you read your own writing, you unconsciously fill in missing words, skip over typos, fail to see ambiguity, etc. Another person, someone who sees only what’s on the page and not what’s in your head, can help you spot mistakes and improve your writing. This is especially important if you are carving something in stone or getting a tattoo with words in it.”
#19 Have Fun Moving To Kansas You Tiny Idiot
Image credits: dave_cactus
#20 Hönkhalt
Image credits: genius23sarcasm
#21 Brand New Sentence And I Don’t Think My Mans Took One Breath
Image credits: Amphibian_Decent
#22 Or A Self-Checkout Machine
Image credits: colorfulsoul_
#23 Cleetus Had Been Up For 3 Days Drinking Paint Tinner
Image credits: DrakeGatsby
#24 Lies And December
Image credits: QueeeenEllie
#25 I Am Watering The Pianos
Image credits: freehugsfromsatan
#26 Raptor
Image credits: sarromae
#27 Fax-Sending Samurai
Image credits: badvibeskei
#28 Ur Not Better Than A Stegosaurus
Image credits: CaucasianJames
#29 Eat, Pray, Stab
Image credits: genius23sarcasm
#30 Imagine Being Abducted By Aliens And They Give You A Gucci Belt
Image credits: Zulrambe
#31 Frenchman’s Sock
Image credits: ijiessur
#32 Stay Hydrated!
Image credits: regian24
#33 Anybody?
Image credits: regian24
#34 Illegal Occupation Of November
Image credits: SaltNVinegarNips
#35 Lower Case T’s Started Hurting
Image credits: TheAndrewNadeau
#36 Blaise
Image credits: MarcSnetiker
#37 Coping Mechanism Police
Image credits: Thedepressionoftrees
#38 Missed An Opportunity There
Image credits: livsfjernfo
#39 “I Guess God Does Hair”
Image credits: jellydude69
#40 “Releasing A Roomba Into The Greek Forums”
Image credits: hentai_mustard
#41 The Pomegranate Trials
Image credits: Un_FaZed211
#42 Wondering When That Point Comes
Image credits: KylePlantEmoj
#43 Never Heard That One Before. Am I Wrong?
Image credits: voododildo
#44 Lip Guitar
Image credits: WwAaSsUp
#45 I’m Going To Eat Rocks To Find The Good Ones
Image credits: therealcbrad
#46 Owning An Old Home
Image credits: braidednosehair
#47 Grape On Endangered Species List
Image credits: harry_hall
#48 Rhombus Of Doubt
Image credits: LeagueOfTheUnknown
#49 “They Know So Much About Loafers It Ruined Their Life”
Image credits: Western-Edge-965
#50 Ska In A Nutshell
Image credits: regian24
Read more: boredpanda.com